It was the most unusual encounters. Unusual for the end hardly justify the means, the logic was too absurd and my questions are left unanswered. For several days I met people who seemed to find hope in a perceived marriage or partnership that is neither driven by louvre nor a little bit of affection. Rather, it was more of a profitable escape—a seemingly reckless and uncalculated dive into the unknown. I do understand the practicality of romanticism. These acts can be easily forgiven and I do not condemn those whose intentions are pure. But what is unimaginable is the idea of depending one’s life into the hands of another, knowing for a fact that these beings are neither toddlers nor zygotes that have to be nurtured and fed. These are adults. To be more specific, entities who defined their success by having a blue-eyed, blonde hair male partner who could barely utter and comprehend simple Filipino.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no intentions of placing them atthe center of ignominy. I just find the whole set-up weird. While analyzing if their applications can be approved—if I could help them in convincing the authorities that they shall not migrate illegally, my suggestions and recommendations become superfluous due to a single factor: I find it difficult to prove that they can support themselves. And this aspect matters. It really matters. It overcomes the burden of proof of overstaying.
Whenever I ask them what they have been doing to address their everyday needs, I would always get “nothing” for an answer. It is their partners that have been taking care of those things—so much so that if only air can be commodified, they could have asked those men to deliver it to them. At this point, how will you show that your real purpose of going out of the country is for the relationship? Come on, have pity on prince charming. He can’t always do it for you. Actually, I can’t help but feel sorry for both prince charming and the distress mademoiselle. It is not really the idea of being in love that bothers me and I wouldn’t raise my eyebrows if the financial demands outnumber the romance. The thing that drives me nuts is the utmost dependence for doing something that they are perfectly capable of—to live and to stand on their own feet. Go ahead, tie the knot with those men. But to entrust your very own survival unto them, long before marriage enters the picture, or even if marriage is already there, uh-oh. What if prince charming suddenly had a cardiac arrest, what would happen to them? How would they manage in a foreign land? The culture shock and the depression, how could they possibly deal with it?
Now I begin to wonder. Most of the times, I’d hear somebody say “blame it to the government for the lack of opportunities.” But blaming rarely appeals to me. It is likewise an admission that you cannot do anything. Because if there are no opportunities, then why not create one for yourself? Easy to say, hard to do. Or maybe that’s the only opportunity that they know. But if the daughters of a school janitress can become computer engineers— if the daughter of a side walk vendor can become a lawyer, why not try? They have experienced little opportunities too. I have nothing against the existing (relationship). This isn’t really my concern. But as far as I know, and as posted at the bottom part of this blog, whatever it is that you give to a woman, she can make it greater.
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